Hey mister dj ^^
Thats a cool melody you've got there, but imo this not a song.. it's like the intro for your song.. an awesome intro btw ;)
Just take your time and work on your music. Don't rush your songs and don't immediately upload them.. wait at least one day and keep listening to them, you'll find that you get new ideas and find some parts that you want to change.
Hope my english wasn't too bad ;)
Keep at it!